I can’t believe that another week is almost over. I was thinking about when I have to take another malaria pill and realized that tomorrow is the day! Interestingly enough, we don’t have many mosquitoes here in Libreville…the only time I have applied bug spray was when we were at Bongolo.
So this past week has been fairly uneventful (or is that even possible in Africa?). I mean, unless you count being locked out of the house as eventful. Dan, Alicia, JR, and I came home after a long day and discovered the door was locked with no extra key hanging around as usual. Dan, creepily enough, was able to break in through a window screen in under 5 minutes…
Oh, and this morning one of the cats sprayed all over me while I was doing my Bible devotions/quiet time. Just when I was starting to warm up to the creatures…now my dislike is revamped (is that a word?).
I am truly beginning to discover that there is truth to the sermons and lectures you hear about how you cannot run away from “yourself” just by going to a totally new place. Even here, in Africa–my paradise, my dream, my own little promise land–I battle with the same emotions I did in my America home. I still get easily frustrated. Even in this place where “the waiting game” is part of everyday life, I get impatient. Some nights I go to bed with a restless heart. There are still questions tumbling about in my head and I have doubts about where I am going, what I should be pursuing, how to actually be living a worshipful life. I knew as I began this adventure that I had these questions, these doubts, these fears, but for some reason I expected to find the answers here. And maybe I will. But this is a learning period, a time when I may be changed but for that to happen I need to surrender. I am not exactly sure how to do that, but I am learning what it looks like to simply say, “Lord, I need You” and wait. These words keep running through my head tonight: “It’s all about You, it’s not about me, it’s living by faith in You…abundantly.” I pray for that abundant faith, and I pray that wherever you are, whatever your circumstance is, that you can find that faith as well. Because I have learned that you can’t just go somewhere else to find it, not even across an ocean. God…He is where you are, and He is always giving us the opportunity to practice that faith, to surrender to Him completely.
Ok, I’m done preaching now. 🙂 Love,